[分享] 明明寫得很順，為什麼作文分數不高呢？

[SKTWORosa (SK2Toefl Rosa)]

    大家新年快樂！我是SK2的Rosa，由於每週顧問時間都會發現同學共同的寫
    作問題，
    因此，趁新年有空的時間，來寫一篇關於審題的心得，希望能夠幫助同學寫
    作拿高分。

    很多同學可能會感到疑惑，自己的用詞遣字明明是GRE等級的，文法超好，
    而且也有使用比較高級的句型，為什麼寫作分數仍然是23呢？

    也有同學說明明這次寫得很順，卻只拿21？這到底是怎麼回事呢？

    其實，寫作最重要的是審題。題目要看清楚。假如偏題了，即使寫得再好，
    分數只會有21左右，因為你沒有回答到題目。

    托福的題目也越來越難，題目既長又很難想像。近期考過試的版友會發現光
    是看題目，就要看老半天了。

    既然審題這麼重要，我們先來練習看看審題。

    Is it necessary for high school students to do household work
    after school to help build their sense of responsibility?

    這題你會怎麼審題想點呢？這是最近的機經題目喔！

    請你審題完後，寫出三個主題句來。（主題句即是中間段落的第一句話，也
    是你三個理由。）

    1.



    2.



    3.






    這題在問的是做家事與培養責任感之間的關聯性，因此，同學應該先定義“
    有責任感的高中生”，再看看是否與做家事有關聯。

    譬如：我認為有責任感的高中生能夠管理自己的時間，很獨立，還擁有絕佳
    的領導能力。而我認為做家事能夠幫助高中生有效運用自己的時間，學會獨
    立，也能夠藉由指揮家事培養領導能力。

    因此，我選擇同意。



    這時候，確定有回答到題目，再寫出三個主題句，同學可以比較你的主題句
    以及我寫的主題句。觀察哪個比較清楚？為什麼？哪個主題句感覺更加切
    題。

    主題句裡我會先定義WHO的特色，也就是有責任感的高中生有什麼特色。
    再講WHAT（選擇）的關聯性，也就是做家事是否與有責任感的高中生有關？

    First of all, to be responsible, high school kids should learn how
    to manage their time, and doing household work can help them
    develop good time management skills.


    Secondly, responsible high school students are often independent,
    and doing household chores can train them to become independent
    people.


    Finally, high school kids should learn how to lead a team, and
    doing household chores can help them become better leaders.

    同學是否注意到我的每一個主題句都只談一個概念？不會出現not only...but also..
    兩個想法的主題句，為什麼呢？因為讀者一次無法接受太多訊息，主題句一個概念時
    讀者能夠更容易理解。

    最後有了清楚的主題句後，再去發展各段的例子。發展例子的這部分，版友
    可以參考David寫過的wordbank一文，好好練習之後，相信必定能擁有超強
    發展例子的能力。
    http://sk2toefl.blogspot.tw/p/david_20.html

    這時候我的wordbank長這樣：
    manage time=> save more time, keep schedule, finish…on time
    independent=> take good care of oneself, rely on oneself,
                            make own decision
    leader=> give orders, supervise, take responsibility, in charge

    有了wordbank之後，放入文中，再加上開頭，結尾段，就變成以下這篇文
    章：


    Should high school kids do housework after school to become more
    responsible? People adopt different stands toward this issue. Some
    might contend that doing housework is a waste of time, while
    others feel that housework is a good opportunity for students to
    become more mature. As for me, I strongly argue that it is indeed
    necessary for high school students to do household work to help
    develop a sense of responsibility.

    First of all, to be responsible, high school kids should learn how
    to manage their time, and doing household work can help them
    develop good time management skills. For example, when I was in
    senior high, I had to wash dishes every day. Therefore, I learned
    how to do my chores quickly to save more time for studying and
    relaxing. On the other hand, my little brother did not do any
    housework, so he always struggled to keep his schedule.
    Furthermore, he often found he couldn’t finish his projects on
    time.

    Secondly, responsible high school students are often independent,
    and doing household chores can train them to become independent
    people. For instance, when my sister was a high school kid, she
    had to cook for herself, and take out the trash. As a result, she
    knew how to take care of herself. That is ,she rarely relied on
    anyone and she can make her own decisions. On the contrary, since
    my little brother did not do any housework when he was in high
    school, he always depend on my mom for allowance. Even today, I
    still pay his phone bills for him. Apparently, doing household
    work can allow a kid to cultivate independence.

    Finally, high school kids should learn how to lead a team, and
    doing household chores can help them become better leaders. Take
    my personal experience as an example. When we clean the house
    together, I have to give orders and see that every one does his or
    her own work. My sister is in charge of dusting the floor, while I
    am responsible for picking up the trash. As a result, when I was
    in university, I was often elected as leaders in group projects.
    Moreover, statistics show that a lot of students who had been
    class leaders often were responsible for the main household chores
    in their families.

    In conclusion, it is essential for high school students to do
    housework to become responsible. After all, in order to be
    responsible, high schools students should learn how to manage
    their time, how to take good care of themselves and how to lead,
    and doing household chores can train them to do so.

    看完了這篇文章後，同學是否有發現我的例子每句話都跟主題句有關呢？整段都在談
    同一個概念。這樣例子便會很有說服力。
    最後，於開頭，結論段簡單說出立場以及重申理由，就可以了。

    記得，只要能夠清楚審題，還有寫出清楚，切題的主題句，便已成功一半
    囉！假如還能夠有具體且相關的例子，那麼寫作要拿Good就更容易了！

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※ 文章網址: http://www.ptt.cc/bbs/TOEFL_iBT/M.1420211827.A.729.html
※ 編輯: SKTWORosa (49.219.183.151), 01/02/2015 23:20:27
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